July 29th, 2009

At the end of my last post I cavalierly said, “If you can’t trust, you’ve got nothing.”

What does that mean exactly? Does that mean that I never, ever, ever think for a moment that my hubby would cheat?

The good news is that according to Mark J. Penn,author of Microtrends, quoting the Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships (LDRs), commuters are no more likely to:
• Break up
• Be less satisfied
• (the big one) Stray

Good to know.

The best thing to do to allay your fears? Talk about it. My hubby and I had a discussion before he moved. We both stated that we would not cheat. We talked about what was acceptable or not to each of us.

We discussed whether it was suitable to go to lunch, dinner a movie etc. with someone of the opposite sex. We talked through the dangers of emotional affairs, again discussing what was and was not acceptable to us.

It was reassuring to actually hear the words spoken, “I will not cheat on you: not physically or emotionally. I love you. And only you.” And then to repeat those vows in kind.

Only you can define trust. Only you know what your commitment was to your partner and his/hers to you when you began this journey of living in a commuter relationship.

As always, it is a challenging road, and this particularly thorny issue is one that requires a lot of trust and a lot of faith.

Safe travels.