August 8th, 2009

One of the most stressful parts about being in a long distance relationship is when things go wrong: such as car trouble, plumbing issues, sick cats (in my case) etc. I find myself thinking: Good Lord! This is just like being single (which it is) and I have almost zero support around here trying to handle the day to day minutiae of things most annoying!

This week it has been a two-fer: the plumbing and my car.

First of all you have to understand that neither Mr. J nor I have a handyman bone in our body. We are completely unnaturally unable to fix anything. We have no mechanical inclination whatsoever. Even if he had been living here, we’d still have had to call the plumber who obviously knew he was way overcharging me for changing out some ridiculously easy part in the toilet. He felt so bad he offered to dump rock salt into my water softener if I had it handy. I didn’t.

The second hassle of the week was my car. The air conditioner stopped working. Luckily it was a pretty temperate week here so I wasn’t dying of heat stroke but still. In order to have transportation while my car was in the shop, I had to wait until Mr. J returned home this weekend so I could drop off the car.

The guy calls me from the car repair shop and says, “Ma’am your air conditioning is working fine.”

“No way,” I respond. “It didn’t work at all last week.” I had people in my car that could substantiate the lack of coolness.

“Ma’am did you have the dial set on where it was all week because it was set pretty warm.”

Is he really accusing me of not knowing how to operate my air conditioner? Dude – it was 55 bloody degrees last night when I dropped my car off.

“Did you have the air button pushed in so that the light was green?”

Oh. My. God. He is accusing me of not knowing how to turn on the air conditioner.

“Sir. I have had this car since 2001. I’m pretty sure I know how to control the air flow at this point,” my voice icy, even if my air conditioning wasn’t.

“Well I don’t know what to tell you: it is full of coolant and it is clocking at about 49 degrees just sitting here.”

Well I don’t know what to tell you either. And I was even more speechless to find out they charged me $150 to tell me nothing was wrong. Thank you so much.

I’m pretty sure there is now a notation in my file at the repair shop: “Crazy woman might be having hot flashes. Run a diagnostic and charge her double.”